Wednesday, April 29, 2009

a haunting at work

I'm sitting at my desk, working on my computer. Now, the first thing you should know is that I am the only one with a computer. Actually, I have 4, but that's an entirely different story.

Anyway, doing my work, minding my own business when suddenly my mouse pointer starts to move around my screen. I grab the mouse and move it back. And it then moves around some more, opening Word Pad. Then letters slowly begin appearing on the screen....


I need what? To take over my body? To drain me of my blood? What? (Yes, we have already established my tendencies to overreact)

I need to access a database. I'll let you know when I'm done. J


J is our programmer who lives in another state.

It was better when it was a goblin.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Deep sigh of relief

Well, the police officer talked with my ex-mother in law. Apparently she started screaming at him about what a bad, evil person I am, etc. and he very calmly explained to her that if she felt she had been treated unjustly, she needed to follow proper channels, like the court system. At this point she started mumbling and backed down. He explained that she cannot call me again or they will issue a warrant for her arrest.

The officer called me to give me an overview, he was very nice, but it kind of cracked me up when he said, "If she shows up at your door, don't even open it, just call us."

Well, duh.

It's nice to not feel ill everytime the phone rings.....

Friday, April 24, 2009

And the fun continues.........

I can't wait until tomorrow when the officer finally calls her. Four more calls Friday, none yesterday, one so far today. My answering machine is actually full! And only with messages from her. It seems like she's escalating. She is now calling my ex and his wife as well - but still targeting me. As obtuse as he is, he's starting to worry. I contacted the schools and the daycare, because she had mentioned both in her rants. The school I'm not worried about since it's kept locked down and you have to be buzzed through the office. Afterschool care is going to make sure they have an adult with the girls at all times.

She's never threatened me with taking the girls, but she did say something about it to my ex. This is so surreal, I'm really having a hard time wrapping my head around it. And while I'm not very confrontational, she brings it out of me.

Like one of the calls - she was ranting and raving about what a bad person I was, how I'm white trash and she was born in this really affluent suburb, and I nearly picked up just so I could point out that I could trace back to two presidents as well as the british royal family (although in a very convolluted way) in my family tree while she could claim an uncle who worked for the mob. Just to push her buttons. But thankfully I listened to my not stupid side and didn't. Then she called me something so obscure I had never even heard it before and had to look it up. It's a slur that questions one's enthic background as well as insinuating infidelity. Why she thinks that would bother me, I don't know.

Did I mention I can't wait for Monday?

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Why can't you divorce your inlaws when you divorce your spouse?

Most everyone knows the circumstances of my divorce. I don’t really like talking about it, but I don’t hide it either. Anyway, when I first got engaged to my now ex, he used to tell these crazy stories about his mom. Drunken, violent stories (yes I know, the nut didn’t fall far from the tree). I didn’t really believe him, because the woman I saw drank too much, but was as nice as can be. But not long after we got married, she would call us, over and over, calling my ex names and ranting and raving. Sometimes she would call as many as 20 times in a night. Then nothing for weeks. It was crazy and always directed at her son.

Then we got divorced and I had no contact with her for some time. The girls would see her occasionally when they visited with their father, but that was it. But after he got remarried, she started calling me, asking to see the girls, saying she didn’t want anything to do with her son (a feeling I share). OK. I wanted them to be able to see her. So she came over around the holidays to see the girls. Then she wanted them (just them) to go out with her. No. And they didn’t want to. Turns out my ex will no longer have anything to do with her.

Around this time, the crazy phone calls started up again, only this time they were directed at me. About what an awful person I am, how she knows I’m crazy (Me?), etc, etc. So I talked with the girls and it turns out they don’t want to see her. They were doing it for ME.

Well, that makes the decision easy. The next round of calls, I tell her she can’t see the girls anymore. Period. And she goes off the deep end. And calls. And calls. And calls. She starts leaving messages on the answering machine that a vaguely threatening, extremely profane. Now, anyone who has children knows, the first thing the kids do when they get home is run over and push the answering machine. And they would hear this. I finally tell her if she doesn’t stop calling, I will call the police and have her arrested. And the calls stop. For months. Then around holidays she would call a few times, leave nasty messages and then poof! Stop.

Until recently. Around Easter she started calling. She stopped few a few days, then started back up. Only this time it’s different. Last night she started threatening me directly. Fortunately, the girls were not home. On my way to pick them up, I called the police to inquire as to my options. They offered to send over an officer. I then called my ex for his opinion. He said to do whatever I felt was necessary (wow).

When the officer arrived, I sent the girls out to play and explained the situation to him. I played the two messages I still had on the answering machine and he stood there shaking his head and smiling. As the second message plays, it gets interrupted by a new call. From her. The officer instructs me not to pick it up. And she starts her ranting and raving. And this time it’s even worse. Then she calls again. And again. By this time the officer is no longer smiling. He says that ordinarily he would pick up the phone and talk to her, but she’s so drunk he thinks it would just make things worse, and because she drinks all the time, it wouldn’t do any good to call her and warn her off. He writes down all the times from my caller ID, takes some notes about what she said, then looks at me and says there are two ways to go. 1) I can change my phone number and keep it unlisted, which seems very unfair to me, because of all the people I would have to remember to call with my new number, or 2) he can issue a warrant for her arrest and she would have to be processed, post bond, etc. I don’t want to do that either. So I tell him I will think about it and let him know. He leaves and I call my ex again, because frankly, whatever I do will directly affect him, as his mom will then re-direct her anger at him. And believe it or not, I wouldn’t wish that even on him. By the end of the conversation, I have decided to ask the officer to call her either at work or at home as soon as she gets off work to give her a verbal warning and if she persists after that, I will proceed with the warrant. So that’s what he’s going to do. The only problem is he’s in training today and isn’t sure if he can get to a phone and then he’s off until Monday. But, I’ve been dealing with this for so long, what’s a few more days?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

A brief (at least for me) update

I have sat down at my computer at least a dozen times in the last two weeks to write, just staring at the screen. Not because I didn't have anything to say, but because I've been so overwhelmed and tired I didn't even know where to start. So here is a brief summary of the events of late.

My boss, T, quit. T's stepdad owns half of the business (in addition to several other businesses), and T was being groomed to eventually take over. But D, the other owner (who is the active partner) runs the business extraordinarily poorly and refuses to retire. He's 76, lives with his 101 year old mother, is very forgetful, rarely showers, keeps all documentation at his house, would come into the office at 4:00 pm to work (which I liked because that meant I really didn't have to deal with him), etc. But worst of all, he won't give up ordering supplies, but he can't ever remember to order them. And not office supplies, the supplies we need to do what we do.

After too many years it became to much for T to handle. And he took a job in another state (except for college, he's never lived anywhere else) and he left. Which meant we had no buffer between us and D. But it was a really good decision for T.

Then D makes the decision that he's not going to replace T, so the rest of use have to pick up the slack (which is kind of difficult when there are only 4 employees left to cover), but what are you going to do? Even a crappy job is better than no job.

Then D gets really sick with some virus and his mom passes away. So he's a mess, of course. Not even able to make the necessary arrangements. Needless to say, we start running out of everything. And literally can't work.

Then, two days later, T calls (he's been checking in alot, apparently letting go is harder than he thought). But he's not checking in. His stepfather died. Which may or may not mean T has to move back to take over the businesses, I don't know. It was just awful, he and his stepdad were so very close.

The next day Shannon got her tonsils and adnoids out. They were HUGE. The doctor took a picture for her (which I will spare you) and they measure 1 1/2 inches! So she is in alot of pain and not sleeping well, but she can BREATHE!

D's mom's funeral was today, so we closed the office long enough to go and pay our respects. 101 - just think of all she saw, all she experienced.

And lastly, let's not forget me waking up in the middle of the night to find Emma standing at the foot of my bed fully dressed. When I asked her why, she started crying and said she didn't know. Apparently she was asleep.

Well, that's what's up here. Sorry it's so blunt and short, but I desperately need some sleep.